May....sigh

Well thank fck may is over with, just plain and simple a bad month. I have looked back and gone through all of the big losing pots I have had and to be fair its about a 50/50 split between bad play and sick beats.

The only saving grace is that I will get $500 of the months losses back in the next few days when all the bonuses are paid back.

I didn't get anywhere near the 30k hands that I intended to play as after that mad tilt day I had, I just couldn't bring myself to sit down and 4 table for hours on end, so I finished up doing about my normal amount of hands which was about 16.7k

Gonna take it a bit easy next month, only playing when I feel like it, not cos I have to get a certain amount of hands in. Will probably play a bit more on NOIQ again, just to ensure I get some rakeback next month, as I am not sure I will play enough hands on laddies to get into the decent cash. The exchange rate is hitting the bonuses a bit as well, which doesn't help, been taking most of me $$ out of my accounts where I can, seems like the £ is only going one way at the moment.

Some good news in the fact we have decided where we are going on holiday next year, its the wifes 40th, so wanted to do something special. We have chosen Canada and are looking to book an all in one trip for 16 days with all of the tours booked in, if we get the trip that we are after it should be pretty cool, as there is a 3000 mile train ride across the country which I am really looking forward to, gonna have to do Niagra Falls as well, as its one of the places I have always wanted to see, I guess being an ex swimmer, I will always have a fascination with water.

Also starting "another" diet/fitness tomorrow, 1st June seems as good as any other day to start, really gotta stick to it this time, I look back through a lot of my old posts about all the positive thinking and fitness goals that I keep setting and yet none of them have paid off. I guess this time its now or never.

So lets hope June turns out to be a good month, 1k richer and 1 stone lighter, well, thats the plan anyway.

Todays track is from prob the best band around at the moment.

Foo Fighters - The Pretender

Time to reflect

Poker is the strangest of games, massive highs followed by the deepest of lows. At the moment, I am in an all time low in my confidence. After the major tilt I had last week, I managed to pull myself together and pull back some of the loss over the 7 day period following, I did not play much, but when I did, I didn't make any mistakes.

Tonight however, I was back in my old calling station mode, stacking off too light yet again, I thought this was one of the leaks I had removed from my game, however it def reared its ugly head again. 3 times tonight I walked into sets and stacked off. Once with KK and I couldn't lay down post flop, even when I put him on a set or str8, I still called the river shove. Then stacked off with AQs on a QTx board after I had 3 bet pre and he flat called with TT. The final one was just a cooler after I raised pre with 88 and the board came T82. I bet the flop, got raised, I min raised and he shoved. My heart knew he had TT, but I am never folding in that spot, there are so many other hands he could have, I just would have to pay him off if he had it, which of course he did.

So after a good start to the month on laddies taking me 5 buyins up in the first two days, the next 17 days have been a 14 buying downswing, by far the biggest of my cash game playing days.

I thought I was prepared for it, but I guess I am not. the strange thing is, its not the actual amount of $$ that I have lost as I am well overolled, but its the blow to the confidence that I may not actually be able to make a profit out of this game and that I am not getting any better.

I really would like to take a couple of weeks off, but I might have to wait until June as of course if I stop now, I would end up losing my ground in the rake race on laddies which at the moment, if I can stay at my current loss for the month, will still make the month profitable as I would be getting $600 courtesy of lads/rake the rake.

The other annoying thing is that I always like to reach milestones, only small ones, but they provide me with incentives to play, the last one was just getting my laddies balance above £1000, which by the 8th of this month I had managed to do, however as you can see by the last 10 days or so, that balance has almost halved, again its not really about the money, its more about the failure.

So its def time to reflect on what to do. Some people say take a break, others say ride it out. I was one of the people that would always say ride it out if you are playing well, but at the moment, I don't think that is the case.

I think I will see how tomorrow goes, then I have got a live event down me local on weds, then a few winonas at the quiz on Thursday, so that will be a couple of days off at least. With the bank holiday coming up I think it might be a good idea to do a couple of day trips to take my mind of poker for a bit, hopefully this will clear the mind so I can get my focus back and start getting the graph pointing the right way again.

Anyway, for those of you haven't seen this clip, if you are as down as I am with poker at the moment, things could always be worse........always makes me smile



Oh, and if your not a poker fan and don't know who Dave Ulliot, the song is loosely based on one of my fave bands at the moment

The Ting Tings - Thats not my name.

Lessons to be learnt

Well, today I have learned a very valuable lesson. I am not ice cold emotionally at the tables. I thought I had learned to control myself and take all on the chin. But not today. I thought I had tilted on the odd occasion, but I was wrong, I now know what it is like to tilt properly. I just lost the plot and in the space of 3 hours, lost 7 buyins playing like a complete aggro fish, just trying to chase all draws and push everyone off whatever they had. Of course, I didn't hit any of the draws and they always had the nuts when I pushed in. The annoying thing is, I actually got me cards in ahead on some of the tilts, ie in the case where I 4 bet with 88 then snap called his 5 bet shove for stacks with it, he showed up with AK and the river obliged him the Ace for a juice 220bb pot.

Another annoying thing was that I had pulled back all the losses from last weekends muff beatings and was back on track for a good month, now I am only about $94 in profit after the rakeback and bonuses......Such a fooking fish. Still $2000 up on the year, but this way behind where I want to be.

Seriously thinking about getting some coaching, so might blow $500 of me roll on some of this, got a couple of peeps lined up from card runners who look like they would suit my personality. Maybe they can teach me a bit more about self control, which I obv have not got as much of as I first thought, maybe some meditation is needed.

Oh well, rant over, tomorrows just another day.

April Roundup

Another good month, getting a bit worried though, I set some strict bankroll rules a while a go for moving up to 100NL, mainly being $7.5k bankroll and running at least 3ptbb/100 for the last 30k hands. I have ran at about 3.3ptbb/100 the last two months and my roll is now at $6.7k with all of this months bonuses to come, which means if all goes well this month, come the Start of June, I may have to jump out of my comfort Zone.

There was nothing special about this month, the only difference was actually winning on the laddies tables, as the players on Microgaming network def seem to gamble it up more than on NOIQ, getting it all in on flop for 100BB with an open ended str8 draw seems common place, even with 3 to a flush on board in some cases, abs bonkers. So obv plays like that ensures you get some crazy beats. Had my fair share of monsters getting cracked as well, had AA/KK cracked 4 times in 4 bet pots where they flat called my 4 bet pre and the chips went in on the flop, 3 times Q high flop, once a J high flop, obv in those cases they had QQ and JJ. So thats 400euro up the swanny str8 away.

After conversion to $$ finished the month up about $750, slightly less than last month, but I have still got $300 bonus off laddies/rtr to come, which will go into Mays profits, so overall, quite happy.

I'm off work now until next weds and the wife is on the piss in spain with her mates, so its gonna be some serious grinding over the next few days. I am gonna try and make 30k hands this month, just need to keep away from the pub for the next few days, which could be difficult as theres some good footy on over the weekend. I can't believe we pay about £55 for sky and multiroom so I can watch the footy at home and not disturb the missus and I still fook off down the pub and spend £20 watching the game down there !!! Still always good for the craic, if not the liver.

So back to the grind, i-tunes blasting out proper mans tunes of course.......

Evanescence - Everybody´s Fool