The story so far.

Still annoyed with myself for not updating this blog as often as I would like, promised myself again to make a better effort, especially as have a lot of hands I would like to talk about.

Finished my first month as a trainee trader for bad beat approx $61 up............Hmmmmm, 200 table hours for $60, not quite what I was hoping for, but I guess its better than $60 down.

Still playing the 25c/50c 10 man tables. Generally sitting with $25 (not the full $50) this is due to the fact, if I am two tabling. I have only got 1 reload on each table. Two bad beats means I am finished for the day.

It was a strange sort of month, with what could of been a very profitable month destroyed by 5-6 large pots lost to incredible bad beats, but I guess thats poker, but still gets me angry.

My calmness is still getting tested to its limits, yesterday, I was $130 down at one point, having to reload 3 times on one table. Firstly calling a raise from a rock when I was on the button with J9, I had already put him on AA or KK, so thought I would see the flop. The flop was a perfect J97. I check raised him and he pushed. I called, he did indeed have AA, the turn bought his 7 for a higher two pair and me reloading. Second reload was a standard AA loss, large raise by me 3 callers, flop comes down all spades, I don't have the A of spades. I put in a pot sized bet of about $10, get rr. It folds around to me, I decided he has the bare A and push, he calls and shows AT spades.....Reload....I can't even remember the 3rd reload. Also reloaded on other table, can't remember why either. This had led me to a rather tilty mood as I was about $130 down at this point. I scraped a bit of loss back on one table, then, still angry, I was dealt KK. The rock of rocks raised, I min re-reaised him, he then Re-Re Raised me. I now know for a fact he has AA. So what do I do, I think fck it, the table owes be and I will probably muff him and I push.. Flop coms KxJ, Turn J, river x. He shows AA, and I take a muffy $85 pot. If I wasn't tilting I would have folded. But I am still not sure if I should ever ever lay down KK preflop in a cash game, even though I "knew" he had AA. One for the forums I guess, or if you can offer advice, please post on here.

I await a decision this week off bad-beat as to whether I carry on this month as a trainee trader. I have still not had any contact from my mentor, people keep saying they should contact me. Should I be allowed to carry on, I think I will push it a bit more, as at the end of the day, I did do the trainee thing to try and learn, I believe I am learning a lot, but without the mentoring, I think I will not be able to force out the weak traits that are in my game. Quite often I am in a situation where I think, If I do this, he will fold, but still just can't find the edge to do it. My instincts are getting a lot better, it just needs someone to "push" me to follow them through.

If I do get the all clear to carry on, I will try and post some of the key hands on here that I face and try and get some feedback/advice off anyone who cares to offer it.

Till then, its back to the grind, prob have today off as its "Quiz Night" and the braincell is in need of its Vitamin C..............Winona, here I come.

GL
Goth