Decision Time

Another frustrating month, I have been struggling to get in the hours for bad beat this month due to other comittments and I think I am gonna come up short of the requirement. Losing my PC for 3 days on and off cos of wireless problems didn't help either, thankfully these are now sorted. I am up slightly this month for bad beat, but it could of been a lot better as ever. Still don't think I am playing aggressively enough to really start dominating the 25c/50c cash where I am still playing, but I am not sure if anyone can ever "own" that level, as there are to many in-experienced players at this level, who always seem to trip you up.

I will reach my yearly target of $4.5k profit at the end of this month when the bonuses are paid out. However it means that I will have reached my target due to bonuses and rakeback, and not through actual play. Now this is a dilemma for me, what do I want to get out of poker ? do I want to make money steadily ?, or do I want to become a very good player who potentially can make a living at it. I really would like to make poker my primary source of income, but my reluctance to move up the levels because of my discipline, I think sometimes holds me back. Even with bad beats money, I still am not playing above 25c/50c. At the moment, I am not much more than a break even player when multitabling, I know I could probably 8 table most of the month, come out around level at least and then make the money out of bonuses and rakeback. I have worked out that I can make $10k a year, even at the level I am at, which is not a bad investment. BUT, this is not making me a better player, it is just turning me into a grinder, pretty much playing abc poker, with the odd move to hopefully add value and an edge. I am also finding I am missing playing MTT's, not having a big win this year, as I said in my previous post, has affected the overall income from poker, next year I am going to start doing more of these.

So in summary, I think come the new year, I have a big decision to make, do I stay with bad beat or not. It really is a fantastic set up with a great bunch of people and I love being a part of it, but if I can't see myself changing my attitude and lack of confidence, I think the long hours grinding route will be the way forward for me. Maybe results in december will make me change my mind, I guess we are just gonna have to wait and see, this is assuming Bad Beat keep me on as I said earlier I have been struggling with my hours.

Whatever happens, I am going to set my target for next year to me $10k in profit, a very large leap, but for the hours I am putting in now, anything less is not really going to be worth it.

Toodle Pip for now.